General Commentary

~Smile of the Enemy~

   by Fushigi Kismet

   I don't know what happened, really.  I mean, I still don't.  I
didn't know then, and I don't know now.  I can't even explain it to
Kunzite.  I just . . . snapped.
   It must have been when I saw the two of them together.  No, it
wasn't that.  Why would that bother me?  I have Kunzite.  Them being
together, that didn't hurt me.  Well, it didn't hurt me as much as it
should've.  If I think back, I know what first made me so mad.

   Her smile.

   When I saw her old memories began flooding back.  Memories of a
blue-haired girl who rarely smiled, but when she did . . . it was
heaven.  I spent a moment just thinking of that smile.  Ami's smile.
My Ami.  Then I shook myself out of it.  I wasn't like that anymore.
I wasn't that kind of person.  The only person I loved was Kunzite.
But still . . . I *had* loved her.  My Ami.
   Still, I pushed the thought away.  How could I be unfaithful to
Kunzite?
   I went to retrieve the crystal from its carrier.  What was his
name?  Ah yes, that boy .  . . Urawa Ryo.
   And then I saw it.  Her smile.  The smile that had only been for
me . . . but it wasn't.  It was . . . for him.
   I think that then was when the dark rage overtook me.

   All I wanted was to hurt her, as she had hurt me.  It was only
fair.  I wanted to wipe that smile from her face.  To kill the boy
that she had smiled at.  But . . . I needed the crystal.  That was
when the thought came to me with a burst of vengefulness.  Let the
boy kill her.  Once I had taken the crystal he carried and he had
turned into a youma, he could kill her.  Could kill her smile.

   I tried.  Damn, I tried.  However, everything backfired on me.
She shouted insults at me and saved the boy.  The wretched boy that
had taken her and her smile away from me.  The Senshi got the
crystal.
   I didn't understand how I could feel the way that I did.  I loved
Kunzite, didn't I?  How could the loss of a former love, this pitiful
Senshi, hurt me so much?  I felt . . . betrayed.  But I had been the
betrayer first, I suppose.  That is life in the Dark Kingdom.  We go
around, everyone betraying everyone else.  It's quite sad, really.

   I returned to the Dark Kingdom.  I didn't care about Beryl or the
others . . . even Kunzite.  In our quarters, I stood and screamed at
him for a good half hour, what about, I can't remember.  I was
insane, with her betrayal, my rage, my grief.  I destroyed
practically everything in the room, then I broke down . . . weeping. 
WEEPING.   I lay face down on the bed, ignoring Kunzite's comforting
arms around me, and wept for the smile of the enemy.  The smile . . .
that would never be directed at me again.