M is for Mars

Disclaimers:
Nope, not mine. Oh well, at least I can borrow 'em for a little bit. :)
One quick comment: all the stuff between the asterisk lines takes place in the so-called "present" time period (which would be just before Sailor Moon S), while the rest of it (unless otherwise labeled) is just a few weeks in the past (a rather alternate universe past, obviously, as none of this happened in the show :). Trust me, give it a bit and you'll understand what I'm talkin' about.
Write me!!

Three Weeks Earlier
"Oh, Serena, give it a rest! You're never gonna beat Amy at this, so you might as well quit," Raye Hino said good-naturedly to her friend Serena Tsukino.
"I never quit, Raye! I will beat Amy at this game if it's the last thing I do!"
Raye rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the comic book she'd been reading. "I think I should study now anyway," she vaguely heard Amy Anderson, the "brain" of the group, say.
"You're going to turn into a Chemistry book, Amy," Lita Kino teased. "Why don't we go skating? That's always fun!"
"Sure you think so, Lita," Serena grumbled under her breath.
"I think we should go shopping," Mina Aino spoke up. "I heard there's a new store opening in the mall and that they're having a really big grand opening sale!"
"Hai, and sure as we go some Negaverse creep'll attack. That's exactly how I wanna spend my Saturday," Raye said dryly.
"That is a point, though, Raye. It does seem every time there's an event in Tokyo that might draw even the smallest of crowds, the Negaverse is somehow involved," Luna, Serena's cat (or is Serena Luna's person?), said.
"Luna! I was kidding. I just don't want to go to the mall again," Raye told her.
"Raye!" Serena cried, tossing the video game controller aside. "You never want to go to the mall. We haven't been in almost two weeks and I'm suffering from severe withdrawal."
Raye sighed in exasperation. "Why do we have to do anything at all? I mean, why can't we just all go do our own thing and not worry about everyone else for a change? Novel concept, I know," she said bitterly.
The girls shared a Look, each one thinking the same thing. Luna finally put it to words: "Is something wrong, Raye?" she asked gently.
"Iie, nothing. I'm fine... just really tired. I think I'll go home and get some rest... maybe some time in front of the fire will help me sort out my thoughts. I'm sorry I snapped at you guys." She slid off Serena's bed and dropped the manga on the desk. "So I'll see you guys tomorrow, I guess."
"Sayonara, Raye. Ja ne!" they called as she hurried out the door.
"She's been acting strange all week," Lita said once she was gone.
"I know... much more bossy and snappy than usual," Serena put in, turning back to the video game.
"Should we try to figure out what's wrong with her?" Mina asked, her eyes lighting up at the thought of snooping on Raye.
"I think she'll tell us when she's ready to," Amy said. "Maybe it's something she feels she can work out on her own. We should trust her."
"Well," Lita said after a moment, "if she gets much worse, we'll have to make her tell us. I mean, it's not like we aren't her best friends."
"True, but I agree with Amy in this case: we will let Raye keep her own counsel until she's ready to talk," Luna said. Her tone left no room for argument.
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I remember that day well. It was the first day I ever saw him, the day my life began -- this phase of my life, I mean. ; This... strange, dreamy, alive phase. I remember looking up and seeing him, all fierce, knowing blue eyes... I remember watching him watching me, watching me as though he wanted to learn
me, watching me as though he could see into my soul and instantly know all my secrets, all my fears and dreams.
It was disconcerting, seeing him there, seeing him and yet not knowing him. I feel sometimes as though I still don't know him... and now I suppose I never will. He spoke to me, his voice mildly derisive in that way which so got under my skin. He always knew just what to say to get on my nerves. Gods, how I love him, how I need him! And I don't need anyone. No, that's not true. I need my friends... I need this temple... and, though I don't like admitting it, I need Sailor Mars. She is as much a part of me as anything else.
Iie! I was fine before Sailor Mars, and I can be fine again without her. But... was I really? Was I fine? I was alone, and I would be alone again. Could I do that? Now that I know the difference, now that I've felt the sweetness of knowing there are people who love me and care for me and would give their lives for me, can I go back to being lonely Raye Hino?
I will have to go back to being Raye Hino without Jay Dalinger. I don't want to, but I must... and I will. Just as I must be a Sailor Senshi. And just as I will... always.
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Raye stood up from her position on the floor in front of the temple fire with a frustrated sigh. Despite her best efforts, the flames had revealed nothing to help her work past the mood she had been in lately, a mood that had been best described by the ever-eloquent Serena the day before: "Raye's in a funk."
Such a comment only served to make Raye angrier. What did Serena know about it anyway? It wasn't any of her business! Wasn't she allowed to be in a bad mood every now and then? The dark-haired girl sighed again and shook her head, thinking that this particular bad mood was lasting longer than most.
She felt bad about the way she had spoken to her friends earlier, but sometimes she felt like a drone - always going along with the group, always being apart of the group. Raye was traditionally a loner, and while she enjoyed her friends and was glad for them, she sometimes needed her space. Now, it seemed, was one of those times.
Trying to relieve her tension through different means, Raye grabbed a broom and began sweeping the floor as though it were the cause of her mood. She jabbed the brush into corners with a vengeance, muttering the whole time about Chad and his inability to keep anything clean.
"Whatever the poor floor has done, I'm sure it would apologize if you would only give it a chance. There surely isn't a reason to punish it so," a deep, lightly mocking voice said from behind her.
Raye whirled around, startled and angry at the intrusion. She opened her mouth to chastise the speaker, but ended up saying nothing, her jaw hanging open in surprise as she stared up at him. Her mind whirled through images of intense, uncanny blue eyes and curly -- no, not so much curly as wavy, she
corrected herself -- blond hair and she tried desperatelyy to regain her composure. "I... the floor did nothing, naturally," she said, throwing a shield of haughtiness up between them to protect herself from those damn eyes of his. "I have been very busy with other matters lately and haven't been able to devote the proper attention to such things as sweeping. Now, is there something I can help you with?"
He slowly arched an eyebrow and replied, "That depends. I'm looking for a young woman by the name of Raye Hino. Do you know her?"
Raye regarded him carefully for a moment. "Who's asking?" she said suspiciously, tucking a lock of purple-black hair behind her ear.
His lips twisted into a strange smile -- strange, but not unkind -- and he bowed politely. "Jay Dalinger at your service, Hino-san. I have come to request guidance from a wise miko, and you seem to fit that description perfectly."
Her brow creased in a frown and she turned away to return the broom to its place. "Don't try to flatter me, Dalinger-san. If you haven't come to our temple with a serious purpose, then I must ask you to leave. We do not take people mocking the sanctity of this place lightly. You understand, of course?"
"Gomen nasai, Hino-san, forgive me," he said, his tone losing its scornful edge, "I do come for a serious purpose, but I'm afraid I've started off terribly wrong. I was startled, you see... I was told that the miko of the Cherry Hill Temple was wise and rather quick-tempered, but no one told me of your beauty. And that is not simply flattery. So, shall we begin again? My name is Jay Dalinger and I've come to make an offering at your temple." He held out a bouquet of white roses so delicately, perfectly, innocently beautiful that Raye, turning back to face him, caught her breath in wonder.
"They are magnificent," she whispered. "I've never seen flowers of such loveliness and perfection!" She gasped again as she stared down into the bouquet: each flower was flushed bright pink in the center, almost as if the blossom contained a flame within itself. "The Gods will truly be pleased. Domo arigato, Dalinger-san."
He looked a little sheepish. "I'm afraid... I'm afraid I lied to you, Hino-san," he said after a long silence.
Her head snapped up, onyx eyes blazing. "Lied? What, exactly, did you lie about?" she asked, her tone tight with anger and disbelief.
Jay Dalinger cleared his throat and shifted uneasily from one foot to another. Raye was amazed at his transformation: those blue eyes, which before had seemed to unabashedly peer into her very soul, would not rise to meet her own, and his voice, so confident and derisive just a moment ago, was small and chagrined. All in all, he looked like a small child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar after having been warned away from it quite frequently.
"When I told you I was startled by your beauty? Well, it wasn't a complete lie, because I'm startled anew each time I see you... because I have seen you before... and that is the actual reason I'm here. The flowers aren't for the Gods, they're for you. I thought you would be angry if I came up here like that, seeming like some love-sick fool who hasn't sense enough to know that you aren't the type of girl to be taken in by flowers and candy, so I decided to make the offering to the Gods instead. I'm sorry to have
deceived you in the first place, Raye-san, but I had to tell you the truth, because you deserve that much," he said, finally glancing up to meet her fiery gaze at the very end of this speech.
Raye, for her part, had listened to his admission with ever-widening eyes. He had brought these amazing flowers, each one a gift from the Gods, to her? "You're right: I most likely would have thrown you out on your ear had you come in here waving this bouquet around and offering me invitations to dinner and the movies... but still..." she trailed off, unsure whether to be furious that he would lie about something as sacred as an offering to the Gods, or to be thrilled that he would go to such lengths to impress her. "I'm not sure what to say," she finally admitted.
His lips turned up in a charming, boyish grin. "Say you'll have dinner with me tonight."
"Dalinger-san--"
"Jay, please," he interrupted.
"Jay-san, I'm a very busy person. I have the temple to look after, my grandfather to keep out of trouble, school, my friends..."
"Well if not tonight, then tomorrow?" Jay asked hopefully.
Raye frowned, realizing that this young man was not the type to beg. Indeed, he seemed just as strong-willed and prideful as she herself was. Gods, I know he won't give up until I say yes! she thought. "Hai, Jay-san, dinner tomorrow night."
He smiled brilliantly, and she couldn't help but return the expression. "I'll pick you up at eight, all right? And wear something stunning: there's no way I'm taking you to some place like McDonald's." With that and a bow, he swept from the temple, leaving Raye to puzzle over the encounter as she made her slow, leisurely way back to her bedroom.
"Well he was certainly interesting," she whispered, carefully arranging the stunning roses in a cut crystal vase on her bureau. She gave a little shiver of delight and, surprised at her sudden eagerness, ran to the closet to look for something to wear tomorrow. "Kuso," she muttered after a moment, "I guess I'll be going to the mall after all."
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I laugh now when I think of it. I laugh when I remember that smile of his when I said yes... I laugh when I remember how excited I was, just like a little girl let loose in a candy shop. In a way, actually, I was. Jay, for all his observant seriousness and stubborn ways, was like a breath of fresh air.
I remember that night, the magic of it. He brought me more roses, these red as the flame of my Sacred Fire, then we went to some fancy restaurant in downtown Tokyo, the likes of which I had only read about in magazines. I think I fell in love with him that night, with his eyes that danced when he laughed -- a sound so rare that, when it was heeard, seemed the most beautiful in the Universe -- and his hair that kept falling over his eyes, causing him to brush it back in an endearing, boyish manner. Yes, that was my Jay:
boyish, charming and laughing one minute; serious, watchful and silent the next. We are a lot a like, Jay Dalinger and I. We are fire: nurturing, warm and life-giving, but, when necessary, fierce, angry and proud.
I'm laughing at myself right now, for my own thoughts remind me of a poem by that American, Poe. Something about... Annabel Lee... "I was a child, and she was a child, in this kingdom by the sea. But we loved with a love that was more than love..." And if I remember correctly, that poem didn't exactly
have a happy ending. It's a shame, for I do so love happy endings.
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End II